Fandom: CW RPS
Characters: Jared, Jensen - gen
Warnings: A little bit of angst
Word count: 785
A/N: Day 6 of my August fic challenge. This one is for gypsy_atavari who requested a Labyrinth AU with Sarah!Jared and Hoggle!Jensen. For those of you who haven't seen this movie, I'm temporarily leaving the links to watch/download it here (though I am sad at you for not joining our recent watchalong, just so you know). Also, regarding the ending of this fic: I REGRET NOTHING. :D
Also available on AO3.
Summary: Jared needs to solve this labyrinth. Jensen seems strangely disinclined to help.
The wall was definitely higher than it had looked from the ground.
"There!" Jared exclaimed, as he hauled himself the last few arduous inches to the top of the wall. "Told you I could make it."
"Yippee," Jensen deadpanned, and Jared glanced down to see the dwarf sprawled out the same elegant stone bench he'd been sitting on before Jared started his climb. Jensen had his hands tucked behind his head and his eyes closed; he looked like there was nowhere on Earth he'd rather be than trapped inside a labyrinth and catching a few rays.
"You are completely useless," Jared said, still slightly breathless from the climb. "I hope you know that."
"In case you were wondering, this is definitely me not giving a shit about what you think."
"Jackass," Jared said, pulling himself carefully into a seated position on the edge of the wall. His heart sank when he looked around and saw nothing but miles and miles of twisting paths stretching out to every horizon. "Which way is the goblin castle from here?" he called.
Jensen shrugged. "How should I know? I'm not a goblin. Also, if you can't even find a great honking castle from up there, do you really think that you're going to be able to finish the labyrinth by going across the top?"
Jared made a face at him which was sadly wasted by the fact that Jensen still hadn't opened his eyes. "It's called problem solving."
"It's called cheating, actually. Besides, you think you're the first person to try it? It's like you all read the same manual for how not to solve the labyrinth."
"Wait," Jared said, frowning. "You mean this whole 'solve my labyrinth or I turn your brother into a goblin' thing has happened before?"
Jensen finally opened his eyes, apparently with the express purpose of rolling them at Jared. "Of course it has. You think you're the only idiot in history who gave his kid brother to the Goblin King but was cute enough to be given a chance to get him back when you wanted to renege?"
"No," Jared said, even though he totally had.
That earned him another eye roll. "Idiot."
"What happened to them?" Jared asked. "The other people who tried to complete the labyrinth."
"Most of them gave up partway through," Jensen said. "Or they wandered into traps and couldn't finish the labyrinth."
Jared swallowed. "Has anyone actually done it?"
Jensen shrugged. "One or two, so far as I know. But you've seen how many goblins there are; even if Jareth's picky about who he lets attempt the labyrinth, there can't be that many who've managed to beat him."
"Oh," Jared said, in a smaller voice than he'd intended to.
"Don't ask next time," Jensen suggested, because he was a terrible person. "Now come down from there before you break your fool neck."
Jared mustered up a teasing grin. "Aw, you're worried about me, aren't you?"
It was hard to tell at this distance, but Jared thought Jensen's ears went a little red at that. "Not a chance."
"You totally are, and it's adorable," Jared said. "It's okay though. I know I'm very loveable."
Jensen muttered something uncomplimentary as Jared started the trip back down the wall. It was easier than the climb had been, but that was mostly because Jared lost his footing about two thirds of the way down and fell the rest of the way.
"Okay, that hurt," Jared managed, after several moments of lying flat on his back and staring at the sky. "Still doesn't mean I'm going to listen to you, though."
"I don't even have words for how much of an idiot you are," Jensen said, sounding much closer than before. Jared looked over to see Jensen lingering about a foot away, wearing a concerned expression that didn't at all match with his irritated tone. He looked taller from this angle, and his eyes stood out vividly green in his craggy face. They were kind of pretty, Jared decided.
And wow, Jared never knew that short and sarcastic was apparently his type. Especially short and sarcastic and living in a crazy labyrinth. Talk about awkward long-distance relationships.
"Why are you here?" Jared heard himself ask, because it seemed suddenly vital to know. "I mean, is there a dwarf village round here somewhere, too?"
"Like I said," Jensen said, in a halting, stilted voice. "You're not the first idiot to try and solve the labyrinth." The smile he flashed Jared then was thin and humourless. "And Jareth's pretty damn creative when it comes to designing traps."
Jared stared at him and, for possibly the first time in his life, had absolutely no idea what to say.
(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I am a terrible person).